Archive for the ‘reconnection’ Category


On the way to venizia

June 22, 2011

On a trip without constant web and email access. Very stressful and challenging. We get so used to having everything at our fingertips, from the obvious…like a phone to the not so obvious like contact information. It’s funny that everyone else has computers. I used to be the one who had to be online, now I feel like the only one who doesn’t want to be online. Need some kind of place to relieve addiction to connectivity. I’m arriving at the train station in Venice. I love Italy. Some day a long visit….


Oh where oh where have my digibreaks gone

February 13, 2011

Oh where oh where have my digibreaks gone? Ever since the craziness of TEDxSanDiego I’ve lost my way. Haven’t had a digital break in 4-5 months. I feel really good about what I’ve been doing but my brain is fried. I am totally addicted. Can’t get away from one screen or another, one “ding” or another, one post or another. My TEDx responsibilities, my work my family have all taken over my life once again. Balance is out of whack and I know that I have to practice what I preach.
Where oh Where Have My Digibreaks Gone?
We know we need freedom
Yet the shackles of the glow
Draws us in, nay SUX us in,
Till we forget selves, our souls.
We see words in the dark
Yet we lose our-selves in the light.
As day turns to night the glow
Grabs our hearts and SUCKS us in.
Breaking free is so easy yet why can’t we leave….
The shackles are so real and yet so unreal.
Where oh where have my digibreaks gone…..
They have not gone, they’re right there,
Just out of sight, just beyond the glow.
Reach out and grab my hand,
Come touch the sky come away with me….


August 27, 2010

Chanting…what’s next?
18 months of change, 18 months of growth, 18 months of reflection. Seeing “Eat Love Pray” was kind of an emotional experience for me. Not a great movie, just ok. It’s the heart of the story that really got me and the many many parallels with my own life, particularly the last 18 months. Not just Italy, not just Bali, not just meditation and prayer, not even love. What was becoming a burden is now a labor of love. What once was insurmountable is now “surmounted. What once was strange and odd is now a cherished part of my life. I’ve prayed more, mediated more, even chanted more in the last 18 months than in the entire rest of my life combined. I thought things were different, I thought maybe something fundamental in my life and heart and even my soul had changed. I stood in the Buddhist Community Center in a dumpy Kearney Mesa industrial park looking around the room at all the smiling faces. Truly the most diverse crowd I’ve been with in my entire life. And we chanted and chanted some more until I literally felt my soul turn around, my heart awaken. No, it’s not like that, don’t fear me and my exploration of Buddhism, I still pray every morning, I still revere the religions of my family, I just moved to a different place. I felt like I’d been reborn. Not in a fundamentalist way, but in a very deep and personal way. I flashed back to another difficult time in my life while at an Erykha Badu concert. I wasn’t very familiar with her music, but a friend suggested I go. I was out of place in the crowd, probably the oldest, whitest, stodgiest mofo in the joint. She was showing a soon to be child at the time and had recently separated or at least sung about a recent separation. She talked a bit about how challenging her life was at the time, how down on herself she was. Then she sang “I’m all right with me”. I guess she didn’t just sing it, she projected it. Next thing you know, the entire audience is up, holding hands, singing “I’m alright with me….” Tears were rolling down my cheeks. At first it was sadness and then as I looked around I could feel the tears getting warmer. They turned to tears of joy, tears I was proud of, tears of change. The message that really came through “Eat Love Pray”, at least for me was that you sometimes have to reboot, recreate, reengineer, reimagine….and there was my connection to TEDxSanDiego. Those were the titles of the TED talks in 2009 when I decided that I was done with the agency business. That it was time to do something new, something amazing something that would spread good things to others. I realized my new project, TEDxSanDiego was indeed a “labor of love”, not just work. I realized how far we had come and how amazing the learnings, the people, the experiences were. I suddenly knew that this was all part of my “next” as a friend likes to say….My entire life I’ve searched for my “next”. How would I leave this planet, thinking about all the things I didn’t do, the people I didn’t help, the places I didn’t go? I won’t. My “next” started last week. When will yours start?


Technology can let parents work at home but distract from family time –

April 15, 2010

This article helps articulate yet another reason to learn to separate your “real” life from your digital “life” (support network, phone, ipod, ipad, pda, etc.). “Time” and “quality time” are not one and the same. Trying to carry on a conversation with kids has always been a bit of a challenge, but now it’s hard to even keep their attention. Same with us…how many times have you said to your children, or anyone for that matter, “give me just a sec, I have to respond to this email right away”. If we continue to set the example of our need to be constantly connected and entertained, what can we expect but a generation of disconnectedness? What happened to the days when you’d stand in line and chat with interesting folks, at the store, movie theatre, airport…..Now, you look at a line, even in a Starbucks and half the folks are on their pda’s.

Technology can let parents work at home but distract from family time –


Positive Psychology is good for you!

March 26, 2010

Positive Psychology is very cool stuff. This site is by the founder of it, Martin Seligman. There’s some great stuff here and the field is exploding. You may not agree with all of it, but it’s all about happiness. There’s lots of tests, you can ask how you stack up and it helps you get on solid footing for your own appreciation and understanding of happiness and what makes you happy.


I Know Why the Caged Bear Sings

February 9, 2010

I am blessed to be surrounded by friends who inspire me. The other day one such friend was lamenting that he felt guilty because he had worked so hard all of his life and that currently he was achieving just as much financial success but at the same time thoroughly enjoying his life.

I was struck by a line in one of my new favorite books “The Book of Martial Power” by Steven Pearlman. In talking about the principles underlying all martial arts, Pearlman states as part of the ultimate standard of any martial art is that “Victory must be effortless.”

What if life was meant to be effortless?

Not the effortlessness in the unskilled sort of beach bum or common charlatan type of effortless. That is more of an example of individuals often working harder not to work and evolve than they would if they had applied themselves to an honest living. But rather, what if the ultimate goal of life was mastery, like mastering a martial art. At first you struggle and work hard and get bogged down in details. You believe that all of that is necessary to learn to survive. But if you have seen a master of anything at work, it is like magic requiring no effort. (To look upon a prima ballerina is to think that such a person is simply born to effortlessly move that way, that not even her body remembers the years it took to break her feet into that capability.)

What if the point is to relax and act from a state of inspiration?

I have been practicing jiu-jitsu for about 5 years. Recently my teacher told me to soften my gaze when I was sparring. He told me to relax and stop focusing on the details. Tension, unnecessary tension, is the mark of a novice who lacks confidence in their techniques and confidence that they can win. And it is a pure waste of energy that actually hinders victory. My focus needed to be purely on keeping my own center (relaxing my vision to keep peripheral vision, relaxing my breathing as much as possible, maintaining control over my own body, etc.) and on seeing in my own mind how the dance would go. That’s it. You actually get to the point that your opponent is an illusion, and disappears from your mind all together.

So after a few years of struggling against opponents who outweighed me by 40 to 100 or more lbs., struggling to get every detail of a move down, of learning the attack, the counter, and the counter of the counter, and now after all of that left-brain overanalysis my teacher was asking me to completely let that go and switch into right-brain inspired action. He said,”Have you ever seen a child playing? When they are really caught up in their story a bomb could go off behind them and it wouldn’t distract them. That is the kind of focus you need to develop.” Now my teacher never read Pearlman’s book. He is not much of a reader. But a life of mastering his own body had taught him that transition.

To go from novice to mastery requires that you eventually let go of any belief in the struggle. It is a huge wall you meet with and you don’t ever expect it. How can I let go of all that I have come to be, have worked so hard to be, and go in the opposite direction?

We’ve all heard the story of the bear who spends its whole life in a cage and when it is released still limits its life to the size of the cage. We evolve our identity, our sense of self in that transitory state of struggle. We say to ourselves, “I am the bear who struggles against the cage and if the cage isn’t there and I am free, then who a I?”

We want happiness and joy and peace, but we build our lives around stress and struggle and drama.

The struggle was never the goal. It was a step; the perceived necessity. It never was, nor is, who we are.

So why the guilt?

For one thing, the majority of people around you won’t understand you (but if you are like me you are used to this.)

I think the heart of it is that it’s just a really good lie you were told once a long time ago; that life is hard. And it is really hard for most people most of the time. When you finally get to the other side and see it doesn’t have to be that way maybe there is a bit of survivor’s guilt.


FRONTLINE: digital nation: watch the full program | PBS

February 6, 2010

This is a full 90 minute program about our “distracted nation”. Really worth the time to watch and check some of the articles and submissions….

FRONTLINE: digital nation: watch the full program | PBS.